Jasper Goes To A human War
by There's.Skittles.In.There
Summary: okay i redid this story so please read it wot happens when Jasper goes to a HUMAN war without alice. wots his new power and who is MAJOR Frank Whitlock pleasw read it and coment


It had been 3 years since the volturi sentenced me to fight in the HUMAN war for 4 years. 3 years. I have only 1 yr left. Finally. The worst part is I cant see Alice. My little pixie. It was serve a 4 year sentence or they slaughter your family. It all happened because me and Alice found Nahuel. I looked at the pros and cons and well they all point to it being A BAD IDEA.

The upside to this, Renesmee and the rest of the family are aloud to live in peace and go to an ordinary school just like ordinary kids- well as ordinary as a 1 half immortal half human and 5 full vampires can be.

The down sides well like I said they greatly overwhelm. First I was forbidden to see Alice for 4 years but after much persuasion I was able to convince them phone calls and letters were perfectly fine. Second I was surrounded by humans, third I was checked on monthly by Demetri and fourthly I am in a very sunny place.

I am Major Cullen. I am stationed with a Major Whitlock who turns out to be my great great great great great great great nephew I mean how creepy I look better than him and im like 250 yrs (I Don't know if this is his real age) for heavens sake. I really miss people who know you're from the Civil War. At least then they don't talk about how your great (say 7 times) uncle fought in the Civil War so you should pay them more respect. If only he knew he was talking about ME.

"CULLEN GET YOUR HOOTIE OUT HERE……….NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!" * gulps*

"That's Whitlock, I betta go…………. See ya Wanchap" Wanchap is my best friend here. He's pretty cool for a mortal I guess. "Yes Sir you wanted to see me sir" I said lazily stifling a yawn. How stupid it felt.

" I THOUGHT YOU WERE SPIT SHINING MY SHOES" I was about to yell something at him about where his shoes could go but Curnal Henry Blake beat me to it

" OH PUT A SOCK IN IT FRANK GO GET HOT LIPS TO DO IT IF YOUR SO WORRIED NOW DISSMISSED" "Uh umm yes sir" and with that he stormed off. I turned to thank him and said " thanks Sir" as I was walking off Henry caught my arm and said " phone call for you Cullen"

"thanks" I said as I walked to the room with the phone. "Hello" "Jazzy?" "yer Alice its so good to here your voice what's up?" "well I had a vision of you but you were in sunlight and you weren't sparkling and and and I got well a little freaked and Edward made me leave class and call you to yell at you and to tell you to get inside and" I cut her off

"Alice its alright turns out I have a shield like Bella sorta but mine stops like the sun rays from reflecting off me which means I don't sparkle isn't that awesome I feel like Matilda from that movie"

" are you serious? Can you project? Did you here that Eddie my Jazz can block the sun which is well let's face it cooler than blocking you outa our head well maybe the same but still" she boasted emphasizing the my part. Same old Alice I thought to myself

" I don't know if I can project cause im the only vampire here. And by the way it blocks thirst as well which rocks"

"omg you serious that's like yes im gunna say it betta than shopping…….. Shut up Edward" there was quiet bumps from the other side because it sounded like Alice was beating up Edward for a remark he would of made

" Awww Alice im better than shopping that means so much,"

"Yer Jazzy you are guess what don't get mad but this guy was like ' oh weres your boyfriend haven't seen him around does that mean your single' then Edward was like gunna rip his head off and well I almost let him because your not my boyfriend you're my husband but then I realized he doesn't no that LOL" awwww so cute when she's possessive

" realllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy well you know that guy that's like my great so many times nephew well he's getting on my nerves and I was about to like seriously rip his head off and tell him that spit shining was the least of my worries and to shove his shoes were the sun don't shine, but luckily Henry was there"

" oh Jazz I wish you were home I mean 3 yrs without you is killing me I cant dress you and I cant hug you and I cant kiss you or anything its just so……so……….. well its so annoying and mean and and and" she started sobbing well dry sobs anyway which was way outa character for bright and bubbly Alice

" Alice don't worry only ½ a year to go so I will see you soon and we have eternity to catch up lost time" I was interrupted by hyper-active giggling from the other line

"hehehehehe……………………..well I guess Mrs. Stupid language lady is getting up me and wants my phone so ill have to go………… apparently I don't laugh as quietly as I thought I did I mean she is inside and im in the hallway but any way I really, really, really love you Jazzy and miss you heaps and heaps I Love you Jasper………BI"

" I love you to Alice Bi" I hung up the phone and walked out of the room not paying attention when suddenly Whitlock was right in front of me

" Who was that Cullen It sounded like you were humming do you have a child back home" ah bless the heavens for vampire speed talking

" well no I don't Major but I do have a very beautiful w-girlfriend and that was who it was Sir" "Jackass" I muttered under my breath as I walked past

"Did you say something Cullen"

"Oh well no sir" I left with a smirk.

**********************************************************************************

It was the dreaded dinner time. Happiest for everyone else, but me. I had to constantly pretend to eat food. It wasn't easy, I was followed through the peripheral vision of every female here including Major Hoolihan ( Hot Lips ) which gave frank another reason to dislike me.

On the first night I had to eat spaghetti which wasn't so bad since you didn't need to chew. It made throwing it back up a lot easier.

These days I get a way with just not eating a lot more people seem to believe me when I say I have a small stomach or if I say I just ate.

Tonight not so lucky Frank sat with me and stared at me for 5 minutes before saying

"Whitlock go get yourself a slice of pork 'cause I have never seen you eat It"

" Allergic," I had used that one before so it should work " fine but every Major needs protein so go get some veges"

******** 3 hours later and im still chucking up beans and potato. Who would guess they would break apart like that. After the remains of my stomach had been successfully emptied I told Wanchap that I was going for a walk but instead I took off at vampire speed to the woods to hunt.

Hunting was the only time I was free to think about Alice, not that she wasn't on my mind every 2 seconds. There was a year that Alice dropped out of school and curled up on my side of our bed and layed there watching my every move through her 'extra Vision' only getting up to hunt. She lasted like that for 12 months but stopped after her New Year resolution to keep going in life and only do that on weekends.

2 Grizzlies and 3 Mountain lion later, I started wandering human pace back to camp. I was thinking about my family about the phone call Nessie and I shared 2 nights ago, no one really nose about it because Emmett taught her how to block out Edward.

I was thinking about every prank Emmett would pull and how I wouldn't be there to get annoyed, or how Rosalie would go rank at a kid at school for saying something or for flirting at Emmett, or how Bella would have silent arguments with Edward when she had her shield down, or when Edward would get jealous because Bella would talk to a guy at school.

I especially missed Alice. Alice was my every thing.

Bella once said that Jake was her personal sun. I reckon that applies to my Alice. She saved me from my depression and taught me how to live off animals. She showed me how to be part of a family and we learnt every thing together. She comforted me every time I slipped up and would help me recover, but most of all I missed home.

Carlisle and Esme were also high on my list even though we talked often I still miss my 'parents'. There the shape our whole family infact I couldn't imagine a life without our creator and our mom. Jake was a little less missed but I still miss the tiffs him and Bella have about Nessie or about who is more awesome Vampires or Werewolves. The only thing they seem to agree on is that each other stink.

********At last the humans were all asleep now. Well except Whitlock, Hot lips and Wanchap. Whitlock and Hot lips were doing there nightly check up of each other and Wanchap was writing a letter to his Mrs. My letters were always written and read late at night so the boys couldn't read them. Alice usually informed me about her day at school and how big Nessie is now. Something that amazed me was that Rosalie hadn't been in a tiff for a week.

******************************************************************************

Only 5 months left. The guys here are very quite jealous that I only have a 4 yr service. Many have wondered out loud wanting and expecting an answer. They were all disappointed. Wanny (Wanchap) had just finished writing a letter to his wife when I got a message on my satellite phone (which is strictly used after 11pm mainly because the people here don't know about it. ) It read

Hey, Jazzy how your night im really bored coz Bella and Edward are at there cottage Emmett and Rosalie are looking weird at each other which we all know what it leads to LOL I really miss you Carlisle and Esme are watching a chick flick and Nessie is well copying every thing I do which of coarse makes her awesome every one thinks she is just as "hyper-active" as me which of coarse I figured to be a criticism so that meant that they all had to play barbie. I was watching you hunt tonight and following the decision to think about wot you were missing. It reminded me about how much I miss you which I don't want to think about or I will be miserable = (. xoxo ily text me back im really bored xoxo

I read it three times just too fully absorb every thing it was great to get a little insight of home life. I quickly text back as she was bored.

Hey, ali its nice to no you think about me too lol tell Emmett to get a room and when Eddie and bells are back tell them I miss them remind Nessie about me it would be unforgettable to not remember me and im glad she takes after the most awesome Cullen especially if she's growing really fast then we can relax when you'd go shopping together xoxo ily.

I hit send and waited for a response but was interrupted by the sound of scuffling feet on there way back to our tent. Frank must be finished his doctor game. LOL. I quickly layed down and deepened my breathing but when he entered the room I faked waking up and said "well, well look who never stops playing doctor hey Frank"

" Shut up Cullen and get to sleep"

"Oh yes…….. If that's what …….the doctor …..Ordered, I remarked, through fits of hysterical laughter. I was interrupted by loud snores and murmuring. I don't know why he bothers I thought.

Only 12 hours left till I see Alice how incredible I thought. "GET UP MAGGOTS IT'S SURPRISE FITNESS FOR THE MONTH" Oh shit.

This would be interesting I thought. This was the time I had to control my every move. I couldn't run to fast nor could I react to fast in fact I couldn't do any thing to fast. It kind of sucks. "WELL HURRY UP" Oh man this guy sucks.

I maintained a reasonable pace always winning of coarse, throughout the entire beep test, sprints, 2km jog and the circuit.

"Hey Jazz," one of the nurses that was at our unit remarked as every one was walking to the mess.

"Hey, don't call me that," I said.

" JAS-PER" my name was called in a sort of child like but musical voice. The voice asked Frank

"Excuse me sir, could you maybe point me in the direction of a mister Jasper Cullen" "Jackass" she muttered after

"Pardon?" he quizzed

"Oh nothing sir" she replied. "So any word on were my Jasper is" she asked clicking her fingers in front of his face bringing him from his reverie.

"uh…oh…umm…..that way miss"

"why thank you" she smiled gratefully before she yelled "Jazz" . I pretended to only just hear her and ask "Ali? Is that you?"

"Oh yea, what happened to don't call me that?" a nurse remarked but I pretended to ignore it. "Of coarse it is" she whispered for only vampire ears to here. She smiled at me but as it was 10 pm no one but me saw. "Yea Jazzy" "Oh Alice I missed you baby" I cooed as I ran up to her. She ran to me before jumping onto me and hugging me like a child after a day at school when there mum picks them up.

My best friend Wanchap came over after 5 minutes and introduced himself and asked for Alice to join them in the Mess hall. She quickly but so politely declined but suggested he come to my tent to have a hand of poker before I started to pack to go home to forks.

As we were walking on the 100 metre stretch to the tent Alice suddenly whined saying " Im Tired of walking Jasper how much longer?"

"Oh are you" I laughed before swinging her up onto my back. She sighed contently but to human ears it must have sounded like a yawn.

"Well I thought you were lying just to get a piggy back" Sounded another male musical voice which was followed by 7 musical laughs.

WAIT 7. EDWARD WHAT THE FUCK, 2 MORE VAMPIRES. WHY DIDN'T ALICE TELL ME.? I screamed at him before politely asking who they were. They had to explain themselves as Alice had jumped from my back to Edwards and was joke strangling him.

While the rest of the Cullen's laughed "im Tony and this is Ziva" then he responded in a whisper " we didn't like the taste of human blood and then we heard the Cullen's were 'vegetarians' so we travelled to forks and asked to become part of the family." I thought this through before responding

"well welcome to hell here in well wherever we are" I said.

"whoa man why didn't you tell me your girl and family looked like freaking supermodels" Wanchap whispered in my ear completely oblivious to the fact they could all here him. So I joined in the whispering "you didn't ask" I replied with a laugh.

I sat down in the tent talking to Carlisle, Esme, Renesmee (who mainly sat on my lap sleeping) Bella and Rosalie. Alice Edward, Ziva, Tony and Wanchap all played Poker but Alice and Edward ended up teaming against Tony, Ziva and Jayden (Wanchap). And they of course won and I imagine there would have been some serious silent cursing from Ziva and Tony considering they lost to a mind reader and future seer.

When we were back in forks and ready for school Alice suddenly wanted to stay home and play baseball because the weather was just right. We all agreed to a chance to finally use our strength and speed together. Carlisle Rosalie Ziva and I were on team Blue While Emmett Edward Alice and Tony were team Pink. The game lasted all day with my team eventually forfeiting as we had lost Rosalie because Emmett climbed a tree and then looked at her with one of those looks. We all stayed in the clearing tho as it would not be very nice back at home for about another 10 hours. After 5 hours Bella and Edward left to go get Renesmee from prep and Carlisle and Esme went to go have quiet time somewhere were they would not tell. Tony and Ziva went to the rodeo to see if they would notice a bull or three missing which left Alice and Jasper all alone in the clearing.

15 hours later

"were home" I called to every one and heard Emmett's booming laughter " 'BOUT TIME" he yelled at me but was cut off by Rosalie telling him it was his fault we were left alone as he showed off in front of her.

It seemed life in the Cullen house was back to normal Emmett pulling pranks. Rosalie and Alice shopping, Bella and Edward were being entertained by little Nessie telling jokes. Tony and Ziva were still out hunting and Esme was fussing over some blue prints.

All was finally well in the Cullen house. And they carried on in their little piece of perfect bliss.

The end

Tell me wot you think please review so I no weather you liked it.


End file.
